Can I Withhold Parenting Time If the Other Parent Is Drunk or High in Michigan?
This is one of the hardest calls a parent ever has to make:
“The other parent showed up for parenting time drunk or high. Can I refuse the exchange?”
In Michigan, the answer is sometimes yes—but only under specific circumstances. Making the wrong decision, even with good intentions, can seriously hurt your custody or parenting time case.
Here’s what Michigan law actually allows, what courts expect you to do, and how to protect your child without putting yourself at legal risk.
The General Rule: You Cannot Withhold Parenting Time Just Because You’re Worried
Michigan parenting time orders are court orders. That means:
You are not allowed to unilaterally withhold parenting time
Even if you believe the other parent is making bad choices
Even if you don’t trust them
Judges take violations of parenting time orders seriously—even when a parent believes they’re acting in the child’s best interests.
The Critical Exception: Immediate Safety Concerns
You may be justified in withholding parenting time if there is an immediate and legitimate safety risk to the child.
Examples include:
The other parent appears visibly intoxicated
Slurred speech, stumbling, smell of alcohol
Admission of recent drug or alcohol use
Unsafe driving to the exchange
Aggressive or erratic behavior
A child reporting the parent is impaired
The key word is immediate. Courts distinguish between:
General concerns about substance use, and
A present, observable danger at the exchange
What Michigan Courts Expect You to Do in That Moment
If the other parent shows up drunk or high, courts expect you to act reasonably, calmly, and with documentation, not emotion.
What to do:
Do not escalate the situation
Stay calm. Assume everything you do may be reviewed by a judge.
Do not hand over the child if there is a clear safety risk
Especially if the parent intends to drive.
Call the police for a well-check if appropriate
You are not asking police to enforce parenting time—you’re documenting a safety concern.
Document exactly what you observed
Time, place, behavior, statements, witnesses.
Notify your attorney immediately
The next legal step matters just as much as the decision you made at the exchange.
What Parents Often Get Wrong (And Why It Backfires)
Even when substance use is involved, parents often hurt their case by:
Withholding parenting time based on suspicion alone
Using old substance abuse history instead of present behavior
Refusing exchanges without documentation
Sending angry or threatening messages afterward
Using the situation to “punish” the other parent
Judges look closely at patterns. If it appears you are using alleged substance use as leverage rather than responding to real danger, the court may side against you.
What If Substance Use Is Ongoing, Not Just One Incident?
If the other parent regularly abuses drugs or alcohol, the solution is court intervention, not repeated self-help.
Possible court remedies include:
Drug or alcohol testing
Supervised parenting time
Restrictions on transportation
No parenting time while under the influence
Modification of parenting time
CPS involvement when appropriate
Courts in Michigan will act when concerns are supported by evidence—but they expect parents to use the legal process.
Does Calling the Police Hurt My Case?
Not if it’s done appropriately.
Police generally won’t enforce parenting time, but they can:
Conduct a well-check
Document intoxication
Create an incident report
Those reports often become critical evidence later.
Repeated unnecessary police calls, however, can backfire—especially if no impairment is found.
Bottom Line
You cannot withhold parenting time simply because you believe the other parent drinks or uses drugs.
But if a parent shows up drunk or high and poses an immediate risk, you may be justified in refusing the exchange—if you document it properly and take the right next steps.
The goal is always the same: protect the child without violating the court order.
Get Help From Triton Legal
If you’re dealing with substance abuse concerns, unsafe exchanges, or repeated parenting time violations, it’s critical to handle the situation strategically from the start.
Triton Legal PLC helps parents navigate these situations the right way—protecting children while avoiding mistakes that damage custody cases.
Serving Bay County, Midland County, Saginaw County, and all of Mid-Michigan.
📞 Call us